Beyond My Expectation...

expectation...
one word..
expectation cost me so much..
cost me time that i wasted
why do i get that kind of high expectation?.
its a trigger to make me work harder.
 but this is different situation
im just a normal person.
with hope and dream.
and sometimes being human my dreams is just a dream.
im just a dreamer.
i put my expectation way up high.
and i cant even reach it.
and stays as just expectation.

my feelings.
sad.
happy.
two different feelings.
that makes me strong and weaker.
this is my 1st time.
why do i get this kind of feeling?
is the long distance relationship doesnt fits me?
why must my heart hurts so bad..
why?
its just a feeling.
and some people said. we have to control our feeling and emotions.
or it drag us down under.
and that is so truee. i feel like something drag me down. and i know its my feelings.
i feel different here.
different.
i wish i can see the future ahead of me.
future... what i hold?
whose my husband?
how my life?
how my friends?
who always there for me?
my mom and dad?
my siblings?
nonsense.

expectation can kill.